Hearing God

It's been a long while since I have taken the time, or maybe even had the courage to sit and let my heart out into words. I have so many things in my mind and heart, and yet many times I just feel clueless as to what is actually in my head. I am not sure if that makes sense, but I have a feeling if you are reading this and have been in the fire yourself, that you can probably understand and relate to the incomprehensible. My words today are something that have been on my heart a lot lately. I think most people who live in 2022 with kids and responsibilities know that things are just busy. Things are nonstop. Life is loud. I love the ball games, the concerts, social studies team, piano, life... I truly love it all. Being Mumma to my wonderful children is such a gift. In the midst of this though, I think for a long time or maybe for all of my life up until recently I have lived in a world of constant noise. What do I mean by noise... well music, books, tv, podcasts, sporting events, friends, school activities, volunteering. I love all of the things that I just mentioned and I do not think they are bad. I just think far too often I have filled my mind with constant noise without even realizing it. Or maybe I craved the true crime podcasts or the Magnolia Network because I wanted to avoid focusing on my own life and problems. I mean Pam just killed her husband on Dateline... Pam is really way more whacked out than I am. HA! All joking aside, I have really been trying to focus on becoming a better version of Holly, and when I study the Word of God I have been shocked by how often it says to "be quiet" "listen and hear" and "be still." I was raised in the Church... I have always been blessed with spiritual leaders surrounding me. I came to Jesus one summer on family vacation while in Colorado when I was around 11 years old. I was baptized in a river of melted snow runoff and nearly went to Heaven right then and there from hypothermia. My poor PaPaw Westbrook and Daddy braved the river with me that day. I know that Jesus died on that cross for my sinful self. I know that God my Father loves me enough to have let his perfect SON die for my (and your) sins. I truly have believed this with all my heart for the vast majority of my life. I have never been one to doubt the existence of God, but I do think I have often wondered why other people seem to have these spiritual "moments" that I didn't feel like I was experiencing or how people say they hear God speak to them. To be honest I sometimes felt like I didn't hear a whole lot. Over the last few months I think that I have come to realize I wasn't hearing from God because I wasn't positioning myself to LISTEN to God. I wasn't allowing myself the time to hear God. I was so busy with life and my own hurts that I was basically sticking in earplugs that kept Jesus out and I didn't even realize it. I had become deaf to the Father most of the time. Yes, I attended church services. I did pray. I did spend some time in the Word, but not really HEARING and LISTENING. I have a hard time with that concept... HEARING and then LISTENING. I think if you are honest with yourself that you might have trouble with that too. We often HEAR so many things, but do we truly LISTEN to what is being said around us? I think this can be used for our family, coworkers, friends, God, and the Spirit. Are we truly listening or are we just hearing and then trying to talk ourselves or move onto the next activity we have signed ourselves up for? Maybe just maybe we aren't HEARING from God in our life, because we aren't allowing ourselves to listen to HIM. Maybe we aren't allowing God's whispers into our hearts because we are too busy trying to figure out who is going to get voted out at the next tribal council or because we are so eaten up with who is in the White House. Instagram and Facebook are wonderful, yes I said it, wonderful. I love them both. I live far away from my family and the friends I grew up with and I tell ya I LOVE to see the pictures and the adventures you all go on. I love to see the families you have built, but just with everything else I would find myself mindlessly scrolling watching 10 silly cat videos in a row and then 45 minutes had gone by. Why? Maybe we have so many problems and we are in the FIRE and it just feels better to ignore it all and watch Joanna make that ugly house look like a million bucks. Like I said, I do not think these things are necessarily wrong if they are controlled and limited, but my problem came in when I let the noise take over my entire life. I never even gave God a shot to get a word in. The Word of God should be our daily bread. It shouldn't be our cheat meal that we have once a week. It should be the focus of our existence. Why we do what we do everyday. We plug into everything and I do believe we all strive to be amazing humans, but what is missing? I think we need to tune into God the Father. I think we need to plug in and be still and pray that the Spirit will speak and that WE will be still long enough to listen. When in the fires of life, if we are honest I think we all know the help and comfort we need comes from above and not media or Nicholas Sparks (even though I love a good Sparks novel). I think finally... 35 years into my life with scars and bruises I have finally realized that quiet and still are good and okay and completely needed. The quiet and stillness are uncomfortable sometimes and honestly being alone with one's thoughts isn't always that fun. I think though, when we use this quiet time to pray, think of our Heavenly Father, and meditate, that is when we really plug into God. I am new to this whole quiet thing. I think if you know me at all you would have surely noticed that quiet isn't typically my style. I am a people person, I love to talk and converse... but recently I have gained a new love of silence. I crave the quiet time alone chatting it up with God. I am sure he thinks I am a hot mess, but I know HE still loves me. In this new found stillness I have also noticed a peace.. even in the tough moments, I have noticed a peace when I intentionally slow it down and seek God. I have noticed God in the things around me. I can say I have truly felt HIS presence in the fire. I think that it comes from the quiet. James 1:19 Let every person be quick to hear and slow to speak. Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. Psalms 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently on him; Eccelesiates 3:7 a time to keep silence, and a time to speak. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 and to aspire to live quietly Matthew 7:24 Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

A house into a home

As you might have guessed, this is long overdue.  For those of you that may not know, Clay and I set out on an adventure of having a new home built a few years ago.  While it's certainly not something that we realistically thought might happen, it was a lofty dream that eventually became reality.  Throughout the process, we made a concerted effort to not post constant updates...for a variety of reasons.  We fully understand that not everyone is afforded the opportunity to do something like this and we are undoubtedly blessed to have been fortunate enough to do so...and we certainly don't take this blessing for granted.  There are those who have been curious about the process and the final result, so here it is for all to see.  This is a true blessing that we are privileged to share with others...so, if you're ever in the neighborhood, please know that our door is open to you.



To sum up everything in one word...WOW.  It's been over a year already since our house was finished being built...we finished/moved toward the end of July 2018.  The process of building the house was stressful.  Lots of things went crazy.  Lots of people went crazy (Clay and I possibly included)!  People say that if you want to test a marriage then all you need to do is build a house, but that was not true for us.  It didn't test our marriage...maybe our sanity, but not our marriage.  If you want to see two people team up against the world...LOL, then build a house!  That was us.  We did a lot of arguing, but not with each other.  Building a house is something that we would never ever do again (never say never, I know...but really, I do not think we will ever do it again).  I am so glad that we did it this once, though!  Now that it is over, we see that it was worth the time and stress!

We understand that construction photos aren't all that terribly exciting (unless that's just your "thing"), so we'll just skim the surface and provide a very generic overview.

Clay designed this home.  From a very primitive sketch to the final detailed plans, this was his brainchild.  He spent countless hours designing the floor plan, designing and finding the products and materials we wanted, measuring and measuring again, and making pages and pages and pages of revisions along the way.  We went to over 200 open houses before we began building in order to find ideas and things that we loved and things that we didn't love.  We became close friends with the website HOUZZ.  We looked at inspiration photos for hours/days/weeks/months on end to make sure we got it just right.  It was a labor of love.  Clay put his heart and soul into turning this into our dream plan.  It really is so very neat to see his drawings come to life and for the past year, we have worked at making our new house into a home.  The number of hours that we spent going over plans, touring homes, walking around home improvement stores, researching, looking through photos, measuring, revising, shopping, and double-checking are endless...but they were all worth it in the end.  Before and during the building process, everyone always said to not get too wrapped up in the details, as there will always be something that you wish you had done differently.  Truth be told, that's poor advice.  Even after a year (and almost half), we always ask each other if there's absolutely anything we wish we had done differently...and neither of us has come up with a response yet.

We have had a lot of firsts in our new home - holidays, birthdays, fires in the fireplace, company, sleepovers, Sunday lunches and singings...just to name a few.  This house has become a safe haven for our family, as well as our kids' friends.  We have the space to entertain and welcome guests - a place to rest and a place of peace.  We have turned our field of weeds into a beautiful yard, planted trees and flowers...and planted more trees when the almighty West Texas wind treated our others like brittle toothpicks.  We've gotten the roof hailed out and gotten a new roof put on.  It's been a wonderful year and lots of people are still mad that I haven't shared many pictures!  So, here is a peek inside our window!

From the ground up...as our lot appeared in April 2017.  This was our dream location on the very edge of town, no immediate neighbors on either side, we got to specify the size of our lot, where it was located on the block, and we even got to choose our address number.  There are only two houses on our street and a wide open field across the street looking out into the country.  We welcome new neighbors and we know that there will be changes at some point in the future that we will grow to love, but we certainly do love it just the way it is right now.

This photo was taken on April 27, 2017.  We took Anika and Ari to the lot, had them stand out in the middle of a bunch of weeds, and told them to smile for a picture...they had no idea that we were building or moving until about 2 minutes after this photo.

Taking a break in our future bedroom!

The first of many going up...

Both kids quickly becoming "over" this whole building thing.

Ari and Anika in each of their own future rooms.

When all the studs were up, we took turns writing Bible verses throughout!  All of the verses correlated to the location that we wrote them and it was such a neat experience for our family.

Who knew that having a fire hydrant put in could be so much fun?

The view from the top of our house...one to the front and one to the back.

As with anything, we had terrific experiences and we also had moments of defeat.  As word of advice, know your vision, know your plans, and don't assume that everyone is seeing everything the same as you are.  As an example, our electrical contractor came in and put in all of the can lights, electrical outlets, electrical boxes, etc.  Clay then came in, measured and made comparisons to the plans, and we marked all of the necessary revisions...we began with A and went through Z, then proceeded with AA and went through AZ, then BA through BZ, and then CA and went through CE (with each corresponding letter combination having specific instructions on a print-out for the contractor's reference)...and that doesn't mention the number of things Clay fixed on his own.  Of course, this wouldn't be an issue unless you have a mind similar to Clay...everything must be centered or symmetrical or otherwise have some sense of purpose.

Here's how Clay spent his free time for months on end.  The attention to detail that consumes Clay's mind (especially in this case) is incredible and everything is a certain way for a very specific reason...not because that's what everybody else does, but because there is a purpose, a reason, and a method to the madness.  Not only does that apply to the layout and plans, but everything from appliances and species of wood to door hinges and toilet seats.  The time and energy he spent to determine the dimensions of the cast stone details (after measuring similar details on hotels, other houses, and getting the visual ratios just right)...or the width of the driveway...or the design/construction of the fireplace to create the best draw...or the placement of trees...or finding just the right products that match everything else...or finding the best price...or the insane amount of time it took just to pick out the perfect mailbox (because it had to be the same finish as the porch columns/exterior trim, the same shape as the gable vent above the second story, with no flag, with a magnetic catch, oversized, and compatible with a stone enclosure)...or...you get the idea.  Everything had to meet certain specifications that were predetermined and methodically decided.  Even just an inch off was an inch too much and no detail was too small...even the style/color/brand/type of light switches and face-plates.  We even had one contractor taking measurements and reviewing Clay's notes one day and he asked, unknowingly, if Clay is an accountant.  Why, yes...yes, he is.

Naturally, there are those in this world that take a tremendous amount of pride in the work that they do and they are more than happy to have their name on the end product.  There are also those who are simply there to finish a job just enough to get paid, check you off the list, and move on to the next victim.  We are grateful that there are those who strive for perfection and stand behind their skill.

Cast stone delivered!

Clay even printed out mock gable vents in a variety of sizes so that we could pick the ones that looked just right.

Fireplace delivered and ready to be constructed.

Semi-load after semi-load of stone...getting exciting!

And so it begins...

The sweet note that the maker of our kitchen sink left for us on the bottom of the sink.

Be forewarned...building a house is not for the faint-nosed.

Putting on the final touches...

It was such a GREAT day when all the workers left!  AHHHH!  Such a good day!  Welcome home!

My dad made these amazing custom address numbers at his shop in Nashville.  We didn't want a normal address number sign, so with the help of Noble Machine Shop, we designed this number sign.  My dad cut it out and had it powder-coated to keep it protected from the elements.

Come on in.  We hope as everyone enters into our home they feel invited into a warm and safe place.  One reason we wanted to move back into town was so that our home could be a place that our kids' friends are always welcome!  The same goes for you all, too!

Just to give you a brief overview of the house and some of the details, there are 8' solid wood doors throughout the entire house and all of the doorways are wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair...hopefully we never have to put that into practice, but Clay has said that he wants to leave this house in a coffin or a straight-jacket...so, we planned for many many years of use and a number of things can be converted to suit "old people things", such as ramps into showers, walk-in bathtubs, stair lift or elevator, etc.  The main living area (living room, dining room, and kitchen) has 11' ceilings that step-up to 12' 4".  The remainder of the house (upstairs and downstairs) has 9' ceilings.  All of the windows, doors, window trim, door trim, crown molding, baseboards, and mill work are stain-grade and were custom-made on-site.  All of the exterior metal trim was also custom-made on-site.  All walls are hand-textured and custom painted/glazed throughout.  The exterior stone (125+ tons) is from a quarry in Florence, Texas, the exterior cast stone accents were custom-made in Amarillo, Texas, the copper kitchen sink was custom-made in Apopka, Florida (talk about a guy that takes HUGE amounts of pride in his work), the granite counter-tops are from Brazil, the master bathroom stone resin soaking tub is from Vernon, California, the kitchen and dining room pendant lights were custom-made in Portland, Oregon, the handrail was custom-made in Amarillo, Texas, and the cabinets were custom-built in Canyon, Texas.  The exterior is zero-maintenance with no eaves to ever need painting.  Everything is extremely energy-efficient with spray-foam insulation throughout, energy-efficient windows, a very energy-efficient HVAC unit with variable stage fans and an energy recovery ventilator system, and LED lights throughout.  The water heaters have a hot water recirculating pump so that there is instant hot water throughout.  All of the cabinet doors/drawers have slo-close hinges/glides and all of the windows are huge...I love natural light!

This is the view of the front door, as you're standing at the edge of the living room.  There is a half bathroom across from the piano.

I love to cook, but I also love to be a part of all the action! I sooooooo wanted an open concept so I could be cooking and baking away for my family and watching them at the same time!  It is all I hoped for and more!  In our main room, we have the kitchen, dining, and living room.  The piano room is just off to the side so I can still hear all 3 of my people playing while working in that main area!  It's a dream!

We have so enjoyed our fireplace!  We love our real wood-burning fireplace...it is so very lovely on a cold winter's day!

My dream kitchen.  The cabinet doors to the left are another one of Clay's designs.  They look as though they are just regular cabinet doors, but they are all connected and they swing in as one large door, concealing my cavernous pantry.

Check out that pantry.  There are floor-to-ceiling (11' ceilings) shelves on three sides (17' long)...and yes, we have a ladder.

I have always wanted a dining space with a table big enough to sit many guests.  We have the island right to the side of the dining area so, between the two, we have lots of space for lots of lovely people!  We have had Sunday lunches, birthday parties, and holidays and this space is exactly what I wanted!

Adjacent to the kitchen is our office.  All of our A/V equipment is located in part of the upper cabinet and everything is controlled from the TV above the fireplace so we don't have to mess with hiding cords.

A sanctuary for Clay and myself.  We had our bed and nightstands before we built the house and we designed a wall to fit our bed perfectly.  It feels like my own little personal resort.

In the master bathroom and in the upstairs bathroom, there is a vanity on each side that mirrors the other side.

Around our home, you will see personal touches with our photography, like this one I took when we traveled to NYC and visited the Brooklyn Bridge.

Behind the soaking tub wall on each side, there is a door into our walk-in shower...we call it the car wash since you can go in one side and come out the other.

Around the corner is a toilet room and both of the full bathrooms and the half bathroom are configured the same.

Behind the shower is our walk-in closet.  The photo doesn't show it, but there is more hanging space and shelving behind where the photo was taken.

The master closet is connected directly to the utility/laundry room, which is something that I LOVE.  As most mommas with kids, I have laundry for days...this room was an answer to my laundry woes.  Counter-top space for folding, a soaking sink, cabinets and drawers, hooks for backpacks and coats, and even a hanging rod for clothes to dry!  The Brooklyn Bridge sign is an actual subway sign from the Brooklyn Bridge station that we went through when we went to New York City a few years ago.

Backpack and coat hooks.  Also, check out my REAL New York City subway sign!  Clay magically found this sign for me!  When in NYC, we used this station a LOT, so it is neat to have an actual 72 Street subway sign!

In the utility room, there is a closet that goes up underneath the stairs...tons of storage, out of the way, and great to store seasonal attire, crafts, puzzles, games, cleaning supplies, you name it.

Come on up to the kids' quarters.

Anika wanted a travel/animal-themed room.  She hand-picked most everything in her room.  She loves having room to spread out, she loves her reading nook, and let's be honest...what girl doesn't love a good size closet?

Ari wanted a hunting lodge-designed room.  He is thrilled that he now has a desk to draw and do work, and he loves his old airplane propeller clock.  Plus, he has plenty of room for his Converse tennis shoes addiction.

The kids share the upstairs bathroom, but each have their own vanity.  This is an odd looking photo because it's a panoramic, but the toilet room is to the left, then Ari's vanity, towel hooks, Anika's vanity, and the walk-in shower.  Placement of the shower and the swing of the bathroom door was even taken into consideration, so that someone could step out of the shower and close the bathroom door without having to pass across the open door.

The garage is a double-deep 3-car garage, so it can hold 6 vehicles...pretty much a man's dream!

The attic above the garage is decked and lit, so there is TONS of storage for keepsakes, seasonal decorations, or elderly parents when they get too old to live on their own...just kidding...maybe.

View of the back from the side yard.

The day we signed the papers! It's finalllllllllly done!!!

I really hope that you have enjoyed this little glance into our home!  If you get the opportunity to build, then DO it...probably...maybe.  Research, research, research.  Go to open houses.  Plan, plan, plan.  Do not let anyone tell you "no" if you want something a certain way.  Most importantly, do not be in a rush.  We were told 8-10 months and it took 16...and that's not counting the year or two or more that we spent before actually breaking ground.  NO JOKE!  Double the amount of time quoted and maybe that way you can have a little bit more accurate time window.

This is just a very small sampling of the photos (we have about 4,500 other photos plus videos if anyone wants to see them) that we took throughout the process, as we documented everything from day one.  I'll leave you with a few of my favorite pictures from over the last year!

Come and see us!

-Holly