What's your biggest life long struggle? Mine is weight! It has always been weight. I hate my fat. It is my thing that I have never been able to concur. I have always been the biggest one around. A little on the chunky side for a big part of my life. Then I had babies. With the babies the weight piled on... and now my baby is 4 and 1/2 years old and the fat is still hanging around. I am sick of it.

I have good self esteem. I am good at a lot of things. I have succeeded in most things that I have tried, but it's this one battle that I keep fighting and keep failing at. I think about all the things I could do better and be better at if I could be more fit and healthy. I want it.

My down fall.... well it's a nasty four letter word. Something that you must have, but only in good and healthy ways. My downfall is FOOD. I love it! I love to bake and cook for my family. All happy and fun occasions are usually based around food. Not a healthy salad either. Good ole southern hospitality food. It's my thing when I am happy or sad. I lack self control. That's all there is to it. 

I want to kick this in the bootie once and for all. I want to win. I am not use to losing. Especially when I am the one in control of my own fate. I hate that I keep losing. 

This morning I started a new journey with a good friend of mine. We both need to lose quite a bit of weight. We are at different phases of our weightless/working out journey, but we are both striving to live healthier happier lives. We have small goals we are wanting to reach all with one big final goal in mind..... GET HEALTHY! 

Now, I say this seriously... PLEASE pray for us as we go through this journey. I need the strength and the inspiration to do this. I have failed at it a lot.... I need God to help me WIN this! I am praying that God will keep me from temptations and give me the strength to get my bootie up and hit the gym with workouts that COUNT! I wanna WIN. 

Support us. Pretty please... Thanks Lovies!!! 

-Holly

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." We have all heard those words. I remember when someone in elementary school would say something mean, we would spew that little saying right back at em and put our hands on our hips and walk away thinking, " well, we told them." 

Yeah, back in like the second grade ( the same age as my Anika ) I had a friend who I will not mention by name Amy Henderson  who told me that their Lisa Frank trapper keeper was cooler than my wal-mart one.  It might have made me a bit mad, upset, and jealous, but guess what... the next day we were friends again and back to getting "Holly and Amy talk to much" written on our report cards.   Yeah, back in the wonderful years of childhood when the biggest problems were in the school cafeteria line when you had to choose between pizza and chicken nuggets, and Lisa Frank trapper keepers.  Children are so eager to forgive and get back to being BFF's. Even after hardcore trapper keeper slandering. ;) 

Then we start growing up... second grade turns into the ugly years of seventh and eighth grade. I always loved school and never had a problem making friends or fitting in, but even for me those middle school years were not my favorite. When people ask me if I would go back and do it all again, I always say,  "YES... if I can skip seventh and eighth grade." Those were the years where "clicks" started. Everyone started having boyfriends and girlfriends. The years that not everyone could just play basketball or volleyball you had to actually make the team. They were also the years where it seems everyone got the "lets say mean things and not monitor what comes out of our mouths" syndrome. It's amazing the things that can come out of the mouths of middle schoolers and not in a "kid's say the darndest things" kinda way either. I am talking about hurtful, heart breaking things. You are to fat. You are to slow. Your  clothes come from wal-mart not American Eagle and Abercrombie. You aren't cool enough. No you can't come to my sleepover that the rest of the class is invited too.... Those are all things that I heard people say to other people. My thing that was ALWAYS said to me was, " Wow, you are like the Jolly Green Giant." Holly, you are just so tall..... how's the weather up there. You are the biggest one in the whole school. Yeah, all of those were true, and they didn't bother me 99.9999% of the time, but it still got old. Yes, I know I am tall. Yes, I know I am larger than most of the population of Tennessee, but hey.... give a girl a break. ;) Anyway, you get the point, those were the years I really started to notice that words can really really hurt people and once the words are said they can never be UNsaid. 

Words can be dangerous if used in mean hurtful ways. Causing doubt and killing self esteem. Words can cut deeper than a knife. Those bruises and body wounds from the "sticks and stones" can be healed, but the wounds the words leave can last a life time. Something that takes 1o seconds to say, can effect someone the rest of their lives. Something said in a burst of anger can lead to self loathing and and a feeling of worthlessness. So, we MUST be careful with our negative words. Our useless words that leave wounds on the hearts of others. Remember what your momma said... " If you don't having something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Wise words from Mommas everywhere.

On the other hand, beautiful words can lead to great things. Share your positive thoughts. Let those words flow freely. If your child does great on a spelling test, praise them. If your friend lost a few pounds and you notice she is looking healthier, TELL her. If you think your child's teacher is doing a great job in a certain area, let her know. If your husband works hard for you and your kids, let him know that you are thankful and proud of him. Good words can boost someone. Can make their day. As easily as it is to tear someone down with negative words, you can lift someone up with positive words. You can make someone's day by saying, " hey, I notice how hard you have been working, good job and I am proud of you!" 

Let us all choose our words wisely today... positive energy can only bring positive things. We cannot always control the things that happen around us, but we can control the things that come out of our own mouths. Think positive thoughts and positive words will follow. 

Make this Friday the best day of your week and lift someone up in the process! 

-Holly 

You know that comfy spot in your warm ( but not too warm ) bed.? That ahhhhhh that feels so good spot. The point where you turn your pillow over and it is cool on your face and it feels soooo good? I love that spot. It feels just lovely doesn't it? Even though that spot feels amazing, if you laid there all the time it would begin to get old. If you didn't get up and eat, your body would eventually start to starve. You wouldn't be learning anything and you wouldn't be using any of the things you had previously learned, so you would be losing the knowledge. Starving and wasting away in your comfort.... 

Isn't that like life in general. You can stay in your comfort zone. All nice and warm in your "bed". Sure you are  "safe". Free from the hardships of life. Free from embarrassment. Free from working hard. But also free from learning, teaching, enjoying, and letting your light shine! Wasting all that you could be!

Get out of your comfort zone today. Do something that will make your light shine brighter. Do something to better yourself. Do something to help someone. Don't hide your talents. Don't get stuck in a rut. Take the cruise control off. Challenge yourself. It's okay to enjoy some rest and relaxation once in a while, but don't stay there and waste away. Use up all the goodness that God has given you. You never know what might be around that next corner if you just get up and go find it. Ask God to lead your life and don't be afraid of where it might lead you. The best days of your life could be just ahead. Don't settle for just enough. Don't allow yourself to hold YOU back. 

-Holly

Compassion. A word people have always associated with me. It always made me feel good to hear someone say that about me. Holly you are compassionate. Why, yes.. I believe in a lot of circumstances I have shown great compassion, but it's hard to admit, there are lots of times that I really reallly realllllllly lack the compassion I need for people. Usually, it's my own peers, people I am around or talk to often that I lack compassion for. For example, " Ughhh... they are just so whiny. We all have to work hard and do things we don't just love, why do they have to broadcast their whiny-ness to the world." Or..." They just don't get it. If they don't have the money to spend why do they keep spending it?" Or... "Why do they not put in the effort to be generous to others. Why do they think more highly of their bank accounts than people." 

These are all thoughts I have... Those are nasty and un-lady like thoughts. . I see no compassion there. I see judgmental thoughts on my part. These thoughts fill me with negativity. I let thoughts of other people put me in a bad mood. Wow. That is silly right there. I get in a "feeling sorry for myself for having to deal with this" kinda attitude. How silly of me to let my non-compassionate thoughts bring me down. Even if others are really guilty of the things I see, why am I letting it get me down! I am so guilty of this y'all. I struggle with it all the time. I get down because others don't act the way I think they should... welcome to the "Holly is self centered and still struggling to be God centered" attitude. 

I pray that I can become more compassionate to everyone, because I have NO idea what's really going on in their lives. I have NO insight as to what happens when the doors are closed. I have NO idea what inner struggles other people are dealing with. Maybe.. just maybe they are holding onto that money, because their personal struggle is not trusting in God enough to provide. Or maybe they spend money to help them feel better... boost their struggling self esteem. Or maybe just maybe something is happening at home and the whiny-ness is really just a call out for help. Here I am all exasperated over things and people could seriously be struggling. I pray that I can become more Christlike and learn how to use compassion in these circumstances instead of getting irritated. 

-Holly

I love Peyton Manning.... when I was younger my dad was ( and still is ) the biggest UT Vols fan, so it just came naturally that I told a few people all my entire class that Peyton was my uncle. Oh young Holly... you are a goober.

My Ari man's version of "Oh My Darlin" melts my heart! 

Anika studied really really hard this week to ace her first 2nd grade spelling test. She knew ALL the words and was really prepared. Come to find out she was the only one given the WRONG word list and had studied the wrong words all week. She still only missed one word. Went was spelled Whint. =)

I don't understand why kid's these days are so mean. Why do parents not find it appalling that there children frequent the principal's office and always blame the teacher for their misbehaviors.

I LOVE fall and am so excited about the changing seasons. I love living in a place with seasons!

I am really enjoying The Message. It is a contemporary version of The Bible. I love reading it along with the King James Version. You should all check it out! 

I am looking forward to 3 concerts coming up soon. First Miranda Lambert, then Sarah Brightman, followed up with our traditional TSO concert. If you have never been to see Trans Siberian Orchestra you should. It's ahhhhhhhmazing! 

I LOVE watching the fields around my house change.

The changing of the fields around my house is killing my allergies. =)

I am tired of momma's criticizing other momma's just because they parent differently. I don't like homeschooling for my family, but it doesn't mean it's not the best for other families! Just because I put my children in public school, doesn't make me less of a mother either.

The Jesus Storybook Bible is amazing. I got it to read to my children, but I learn and love to read the beautifully written words. At the end of every story it leads back to the real Hero of our lives... no.. not Superman or Hulk or whatever other goofy super hero is out there. The real super hero. Jesus! 

All the meals at my home this week have not had RED meat in them! Only chicken and fish at the McNeely Casa. This is a big deal.... remember we do live in Cow County USA.

Ari got pooped on by a bird today.

We laughed for a little while 30 minutes  because of this! =)

I am currently reading the Amanda Knox memoir "Waiting To Be Heard" and find it very interesting. I am halfway through and know without a doubt if I ever go to Perugia to NOT get in any sorta trouble. The Italian police seem a little whacky.

I hope people remember that however harshly they judge others, God is gonna judge them accordingly. Makes me really realllllllllllly think twice before I go on one of my "Ugh..." spells about others. 

PTO got kicked off this week and I love the group of girls who help me out! We are few in number, but are women so watch out and hear us ROAR! =) 

Finding a silver lining. In the recent past somethings in my life have happened that are just right crazy! Crazy I say... and not in a crazy good kinda way either. A crazy "have you lost your ever loving mind" kinda way. Yup.. that kind. I am a positive person and I always have been a girl with a glass half full... It might be full of crazy, but it is always half full. I like to look on the bright side of things. It helps me keep going. I learned from a young age that life is not perfect. We do not live in a bubble, even though that would be lovely and I am still trying to find one that WILL work for my children! Life is not full of all lovely things, and bad decisions and choices can make it even worse. I firmly believe though that God can use all situations to teach us things. Lately, I have been thinking what in the world is the "silver lining" of all of this. At first I came up blank.... blank as can be. I didn't see any good or even any "well, maybe that is what it was teaching me" moments. That frustrated me, because I am always one to find something there... even if it is just a glimmer. It was a hopeless feeling. Then I had a lovely lovely mentor of mine tell me, " just wait.. it may not be today or tomorrow or this year, but it's coming. You will need to use the things you have learned to help someone who will be going through a similar situation as the one you went through. Someone will need YOUR help to get out of the hole. God will bring them to you, so you can use THIS as a way to help someone else. There it was. It took my person.. that God sent to me to tell me that... and now I get it. I don't have that hopeless feeling anymore. I can take the "crazy have you lost your ever loving mind"  and turn it into something good in the end! With God... all those crazy things can be turned into good if you are willing to let Him lead you! I am trying to do that... it scares me sometimes to not know when... today, tomorrow, ten years from now who or what might need me, but it excites me too. It scares me, because I am still human and still freak out! I need to stop that, because it's okay. Everything will be okay, because NO matter what, if I keep myself turned toward God and seeking him out he will keep me safe and prepared. 

We have all had our "have you lost your ever loving mind" crazy moments.... some crazier than others, but they are there! Take those moments and learn from them. Ask God to forgive you and forgive yourself. Then let God make you better. Choose to let God lead your heart. Ask him to fill you up with his presence! It's easier said than done... I fail daily with this and struggle, but I must always come back. God loves me. He loves you. He loves sinners... each and everyone of us. Goodness, he sent his son to die the most ugly cruel death for you and for me. I cant imagine having the strength to send my Ari to be beat up, spat on, and then nailed to the cross. I get my momma feathers ruffled when someone cuts in line in front of him for the water slide. I honestly CANNOT imagine watching him get hurt, but what I do know is that God LOVES us enough that HE did do that....HE loves us in a crazy full over the top, unconditional, forever and ever kinda way. 

So, I take hope in that. That even though I failed Him, I can now take the lessons learned and use it to glorify him.

Don't lose hope on yourself. God never does. He is always there waiting and willingly ready to forgive you and help you. You just gotta let Him. Don't take my word for it... listen to the bible. In 1 John 1:9 (from The Message) it says, " if we admit our sins, he won't let us down, he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrong-doing." 

When I was really down, my mentor told me to read a passage in the bible. Ephesians 2:7-10. Those verses really helped me. I read them out of The Message. I encourage you to all go read those verses! They have helped me and continue to help me everyday. 

-Holly