Compassion. A word people have always associated with me. It always made me feel good to hear someone say that about me. Holly you are compassionate. Why, yes.. I believe in a lot of circumstances I have shown great compassion, but it's hard to admit, there are lots of times that I really reallly realllllllly lack the compassion I need for people. Usually, it's my own peers, people I am around or talk to often that I lack compassion for. For example, " Ughhh... they are just so whiny. We all have to work hard and do things we don't just love, why do they have to broadcast their whiny-ness to the world." Or..." They just don't get it. If they don't have the money to spend why do they keep spending it?" Or... "Why do they not put in the effort to be generous to others. Why do they think more highly of their bank accounts than people."
These are all thoughts I have... Those are nasty and un-lady like thoughts. . I see no compassion there. I see judgmental thoughts on my part. These thoughts fill me with negativity. I let thoughts of other people put me in a bad mood. Wow. That is silly right there. I get in a "feeling sorry for myself for having to deal with this" kinda attitude. How silly of me to let my non-compassionate thoughts bring me down. Even if others are really guilty of the things I see, why am I letting it get me down! I am so guilty of this y'all. I struggle with it all the time. I get down because others don't act the way I think they should... welcome to the "Holly is self centered and still struggling to be God centered" attitude.
I pray that I can become more compassionate to everyone, because I have NO idea what's really going on in their lives. I have NO insight as to what happens when the doors are closed. I have NO idea what inner struggles other people are dealing with. Maybe.. just maybe they are holding onto that money, because their personal struggle is not trusting in God enough to provide. Or maybe they spend money to help them feel better... boost their struggling self esteem. Or maybe just maybe something is happening at home and the whiny-ness is really just a call out for help. Here I am all exasperated over things and people could seriously be struggling. I pray that I can become more Christlike and learn how to use compassion in these circumstances instead of getting irritated.
-Holly
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